Skip to main content

bad mood

why do i have the feeling like this coming christmas is going to be a bad one?

already,

some people walk out from me,
parents quarrel,
friend not helping,
people "eat" their words,
almost lost someone i love a lot,
people lied to me,
being ignored through smses,
drifting away from God...

blah blah blah...

why do i want christmas to go away?

can you feel that i'm sad? painful on the inside, yet smiling on the outside? that's the worst and hardest thing to do... or maybe i'm pissed? or i'm tired? of lies? or i'm not appreciated? or ****!!!

*SCREAM!!*

go away everyone... just go away... hypocrates!! liars!! you dont know how to appreciate, just tell me... dont make me like you like a fool... you said you do, but do you? $%^&*# shit you!!why do you always need to cause pain to me?


*on the above notes were many people involved...
they simply disappoint me too much...
i'm just down, very down...
and if you want to console me, dont... if you're going to lie again...
i'm just stupid... cannot see your true colours...
CAN YOU STOP LYING TO ME!!!
why are my tears falling?
will i feel better?
will i always be alone?


WHO CAN I TRUST NOW?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

a special birthday for a special boy!

 the day i anticipated eagerly was finally here. i brought Jos out after awaiting for this opportunity since months ago. just needed time and space to spend with him because we've got so much to talk about, and believe me, you can talk to him like an adult. and since it was his birthday, i took the opportunity to seek permission to take him out for a breather.   i met him early the morning and brought him out for breakfast first. Kopitiam's half-boiled eggs, siew mai and hot breverages.    we then set off the our destination. it was a surprise for him so i didnt reveal our directions or alighting point. he just followed obediently.   and then, before we knew, we found ourselves 15 levels above ground. :) i took him on a journey to see life from a different perspective. and we were looking down from a bird's eye view.   cheese! so many things we can see from the top. it was just a very different experience.   not ...
Post a Comment
Read more

My August loves

things hasnt been smooth for the last 2 months, especially between me and "new love".. if i would describe the 2 months, torturing. hurtful, confused.. i wished i knew what has happened, but we became strangers again, this time, more than just strangers.. not going to dwell on it here.. still, there were some awesome and great moments that occurred. just like some of my lovely kids' birthday during the period of August.. James (2nd August) Joachim (4th August) Clive (7th August) Derek (16th August) Bryan (28th August) trust God... 
Post a Comment
Read more

fruitful Friday

for the past few days, i find myself throwing precious time away... being in a holiday mood, i realized i am more busy than ever... how to say? busy playing AUDITION online... in my mind, knowing that it's really a waste of time, i couldnt help but play all day, all afternoon, all night. even extend to the next morning... furthermore, Anthony has been coming over my place everyday from early afternoon and wont go home until the next morning, between 3am to 6am... bad but today, Friday, i knew i did something so much better... and definitely, not a sec is wasted.. (other than playing a little audition in the afternoon :p) even though i slept at about 6am because of..... i was awaken by amanda's call... i promised her to go st anne's kindergarten for their LAST DAY of holiday baking class... aiyah~ she lah.! wanna see her donno who... E.E.E... haha.. but phew, i've got company too... (: shy Nicholas and me my Josiah and me cute Megan and me lovely Amelia and me cool Is...
Post a Comment
Read more